[by carol chyau]
I
recently watched a movie, The Blind Side, starring Sandra Bullock. The movie,
based on a true story, is about how the Tuohys, a wealthy white family, adopts Michael
Oher, a 16 year old black teenager, whose
mother is a drug addict and father was murdered. Though Michael was far behind
in school, he was a gifted athlete. Through the love and support of the Tuohys,
Michael is able to realize his potential, not only earning a football
scholarship at Ole Miss, he is now playing for the Baltimore Ravens.
I loved the movie, and on the taxi ride home, I started thinking about how the
actions of Leigh Anne Tuohy, the matriarch of the family who first decided to take
Michael in, reminds me of the journey of changemakers/social entrepreneurs. Here
are some thoughts to share.
1. In the beginning… Social change starts from opening your heart and heightening
your sensitivity to social needs – they are all around you. When you see a
need, sometimes you only have a split second to make that choice whether you
are going to do something about it or walk away.
While driving home with her family right before Thanksgiving
holiday, Leigh Anne notices that her son’s classmate, “Big Mike,” is walking
alone, underdressed in the cold. As they were about to drive away, she makes
the sudden decision to ask her husband to turn around to see if he needs help. They
could have easily driven past him; after all, the Priests walked right past the
beaten Jewish man in the Parable of the Good Samaritan, and we often turn our
heads the other way when we pass by homeless on the street. After speaking to
Big Mike, Leigh Anne knew that she could at least provide him food and shelter
for the night. She couldn’t turn away from that sense of responsibility.
Many changemakers have similar moments or journeys, how when met
face to face with a social need, they just had to do something about it. This “A
Ha” moment isn’t as impulsive as it may seem. They are prompted to act because whether
consciously or unconsciously, their hearts are open and sensitive to the social
needs around them. They probably may even have walked away from a similar
situation before, and afterwards, wondered if it was the right thing to do.
2. In the process…it is important to get to know your constituents - identifying
their needs and how well you can help meet their needs is an iterative process.
While Leigh Anne knew that she could
meet his needs for one night, she had no idea how else to help him. She tries asking
him how she could help, but “Big Mike” shares very little about himself. She
acts anyway, by taking him to his mom, buying him new clothes, makings a new
bedroom for him, and eventually adopting him. Of course, along the way, his
positive responses reinforces that she is on the right track. She finds out
more about him through his mom and government agencies, but Mike also begins to
open up. The trust between them had to be built. In the climax of the movie
when NCAA investigates whether his choice to accept Ole Miss’s scholarship was
fraudulent, the investigator suggests that the Tuohys did all this for him in
order for to recruit a promising athlete for their favorite team. This throws
Big Mike into great sadness and confusion, and Leigh Anne to question herself
whether she was being overly paternalistic. Was it about what she wanted, or
what Michael wanted?
In Nobel
Prize Winner Amartya Sen’s book Development as Freedom, he argues that
poverty is not just about low income, but it’s about the lack of the right to
make choices. Too many non-profits, development organizations, and social
entrepreneurs “come in” to the lives of the disadvantaged and dictate the
social needs that need to be addressed without ever asking them whether those,
in THEIR eyes, are the true social needs. The paternalistic approach is reminiscently
colonial, even if intentions are genuine.
When
Leigh Anne and Michael finally have a heart to heart conversation, Leigh Anne tells
Michael to do what HE wants. He asks her if that’s ok even if all he wants to
do is to flip burgers. She says yes. In the end, Michael still chooses to
accept Ole Miss. Though the outcome is the same, the relationship dynamic is
different. It was clear to everyone that it was Michael’s own choice. His
ability to make that choice gives him the true freedom and uplift from poverty.
Working
with disadvantaged communities is a similar iterative process. Though the Tuohys
had no idea how to help Michael in the beginning, over time, they built trust,
acted on the observations of his needs, looked for positive reinforcement, and
listened to Michael. Understanding true needs of communities is not a
conclusion that can be made after one quick “field visit,” but too often it is
how projects are run.
3. In the end…being a changemaker often entails personal and family
sacrifices, but more often than not, your life is changed more by your
community more than you have helped change their lives.
Many of Leigh Anne’s friends
questioned her decision and even made racist remarks, but she stood her ground.
At her moment of decision to help Michael, she did not have time to calculate
the personal and family risks that would entail. If she did, she would never have
taken action. There is no doubt that being a changemaker entails many personal
and family sacrifices, but often times the changemakers themselves know best –
their life is changed more by the communities than the other way around. Ask
any changemaker to confirm!
